First of all, my eye sight is compromised right now because while making dinner, the potatoes started bubbling and part jumped into my eye and embedded itself for the night in between my eye lid and my eye ball. So if there are imperfections, that will be my excuse as to why. I have made a song up about it and giving hubbs a comedic show of all of it.
Now i know there have been several personal messages to me lately and i haven't been very responsive. Sorry about that. I haven't wanted to really be in a talkative mood lately. You know how right before we left for Christmas vacation to see our families, i had mentioned testing... WELL... we have good news and bad news. There was a new spot that showed up in the ct scan that they had called a cyst. The blood work showed up fine and they said my body is in full recovery mode in the aspect that i could possibly have my own child now... in time.
Since my story started with a cyst and unknown variables, i am leary of the feedback i am getting from my doctor here in this arctic waist land. I am in the mind set of "it's happening again!" I keep trying to tell myself that everything is fine, but then a sharp pain comes to my side and i am cramping for the next several hours. This fear doesn't subside.
My doctor here can't seem to get emails to me and i am not sure as to why or how reliable he is. He has written me in the past and there has been no problems with communicating. I emailed him several times while on vacation for him to call me with my results of the ultra sound and let me know what was going on. Nothing. Then when we got back i emailed him again. Still nothing. So this last week i emailed him and told him i needed a response to feel like someone other than myself cares about my health and safety and would appreciate it if he would give me results and end this terrifying fear i am living with from day to day.
The next night, i got a call from someone at the office there and he said that the cyst is like 3 cm big and i needed another ultra sound 4-6 WEEKS after my next period. I laughed and said "Lucky or unlucky for you, we need to start scheduling this right now then. (Guys sorry if it's too much! I had just finished my period) The next day while i was at work i got another call from a girl at the same office and she had different sizes of the cyst and said 4 to 6 DAYS to schedule. So i was getting conflicting messages and i called back once i finally got off work and asked for clarity, which of course, they couldn't give to me. So then i gave up and decided to go ahead and call the place for the ultra sound to schedule an appointment. Apparently calling was a bad thing...
The lady answered the phone and sounded angry right away. I started talking and telling her why i was calling. She started to say she was hanging up on me in a strict tone, because i was breaking up. I think it might have been the wind as i was walking to my car from work. Then when i mentioned i needed to schedule an appointment she had an attitude of "I don't care." She was talking to me from the work cell phone because it was after hours. She didn't want to schedule anything and wasn't able to help me out at all. I told her i couldn't call earlier because i work from 7:30-5 every day and they aren't open whenever i am not working. When i got off the phone i started bawling.
I was feeling so alone and so uncared about. If these health professionals aren't even willing to help me out by giving me the information i need to get my scans and everything settled myself, then why should i care. I felt like they weren't doing their job of educating the patient on the options available to keep them healthy. After having a full on break down for close to two hours i told hubbs that if this turns out to be what i hope it's not, then i am moving back home for people who know how to do their job and are willing to help me and have resources, can do it.
So with all the problems and frustration that has been going on with my issues of health, hubbs agreed to call and make an appointment for me while i was working. Sadly i will have to sacrifice my education to do this, but my health is ultimately more important. My teachers are very understanding and willing to do anything to help me succeed in their classes, when it comes to my health problems.
Tuesday we have the appointment, first thing in the morning and then HOPEFULLY we will have an idea of what is going on.... Keep your fingers crossed, prayers and positive thoughts flowing this way. I appreciate the care and concern of my faithful readers.
Now onto some happier more fluffy pieces of info to log away in your brain storage.
Hubbs and I both are doing our internships right now. His is going really well and he is getting to talk a lot with the supervisor and learn from him. Me on the other hand, not so pleased. I am working with four other interns. Two business majors and two accounting majors. The accounting majors i never see cause they are in random back rooms doing their thing. The business majors are in the front office with me. During our interviews with the head honcho she said we would all be doing things that would go with our degree and she gave us specific examples. Then on our first days, we each provided a paper to our managers telling them what we want out of our experience. The business majors are doing the stuff i should be doing and i am doing what a receptionist does of answering phones and stapling papers. Not to satisfied with my internship currently. They are a mess as well and i have spent the last week organinzing files on the computer and in their desks so that things can be found faster and easier.
Other than that, not much is new or going on with us. We'll keep you informed.
Please comment below and tell us about a event going on in your life for this week.
