Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all.
I know that i have kept you waiting longer than i planned and had mentioned. I am sorry for that. I have been trying to deal with thee frustration and confusion. As far as results go, we don't really know much. There was good and bad and we are still in waiting. In order to understand the bad, you need to know the good. The good was that the blood results showed no new changes in high or low marks.
Bad news, the ct scan showed a spot on my remaining ovary that they believe is a cyst. Because of that, they requested a ultra sound that day to get a better look at it. When doing the test, the lady doing it sat down showing me different things in the image. It appeared that there where two spots instead of one.

I'm a little worried because last time everything started it appeared that it was just a cyst as well and that that just needed to be removed to change the hormone levels. So with everything going the way it is, i am worried it has come back. Meanwhile, i am still in pain as i anxiously await answers that will change my life potentially.

Our trip....
I was in the car for like 30 hours and started getting car sick very little though. Then when we started going to bed that night, i really started not feeling well. Middle of the night i woke up three different times and upchucked my stomach contents. It's been off and on the whole trip. Talk soon with results and more details.

6:30 a.m. Drink

It looks like milk and smells like fruit juice with an unidentifiable flavor, the taste however is....undesirable.
Thick, smooth, cotton ball texture forcing itself down your throat as your body knows it's not normal. Chalky flavor and going down your throat coating it like a film. Your body gagging and wanting to remove this foreign item by throwing up.

6:00 A.M. the alarm blares... it's time to get up.
Remove the sheets from covering your body. The cold air is like a bite. Stumbling through the darkness not to wake anyone else, walk toward the fridge. Door opens and a blinding light shines on. There is that white bottle of drink. Grab, twist the cap off, remove the plastic cover seal. Drink, gulp, and cringe. Walk back to bed with the cold drink in hand.

6:30 A.M. Sitting in bed, gulp after gulp. Gasping to breath and get something else down your throat other than this chalky fluid. Half way there, gotta keep going. The thoughts of "chug, chug, chug, chug" pounding in my head just to get it over. Body sick and tightening up. All thoughts turn to throwing up just to get this drink out. But, NO. The drink needs to be all inside you. Flowing through your body so that you can get to the bottom of what's going on.

7:00A.M. Done, hit that level where if I drink much more, a mess will result in the sheets and an unhappy husband will be there as well. Hit the point where I got the majority down and decided more sleep until it's time to go.

8:00A.M. Alarm blaring again... it's time to get up!
Roll over, cover up, and start to drift back to sleep... "no it's time to get up" a voice says in the distant background. It's the self conscious you, telling you that it's time to go. Walk out the door and drive down the road. Pull in, walk in. The woman at the desk so eager and excited to get her day started, annoys you because of sleep deprivation. "I need your license and insurance please. Fill these five pages for me that all state the same thing and we will call you in when you are done."

8:30 A.M. "JANE DOE!" echoes from a hallway behind you where a man is standing with a big smile. Stand up, slowly walk over, completely knowing what to expect and knowing what will come next. Soon lying on the cold, narrow table, the iv goes in. Alignment starts and the table begins to  move through the hole in the wall. You hear the swift rotation of the scanner as it scans your body for malfunctions and imperfections within the body that the eye can't see. Contrast has been administered now and a hot sensation flows through your body. Light headed and suddenly feeling the urge to wet yourself, the scan starts again and the swoosh, thump... swoosh, thump goes again as the scanner is rotating around again for a third time. A voice comes over the speaker next to your head that startles you and makes you jump a little,  "Breath in and hold" 18 seconds later "Breath". After the three scans are done the smiling man who was in the door way comes in and removes the iv. "You are all done, how did it feel?" Creating small talk when all you really want is to get out of there and eat something since you have been starved for over 12 hours.

This week we are in the process of doing my medical check ups to make sure that cancer is still not overpowering my feeble body. Blood work was done yesterday with incompetent young women who were more interested in their conversation than making sure they poked me correctly to get the blood they needed. I walked out with a bruised arm that was VERY sore all night long. We wait now. Tuesday we will be meeting with another doctor who I feel isn't taking my situation seriously, to go over the anticipated results of my tests. A common fear with each check up is that the cancer has returned and with recent pains and concerns with changes, this fear is magnified. Please keep a prayer in your heart that these doctors looking over my results will see any imperfections and malfunctions that may even give the slightest hint to a return situation. If we catch it now, the results look brighter than if it goes unnoticed.

Thanks for all the love and support with this and updates will be posted next week. Please check back then for the answers.

White blankets

Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink...
Drops of icy, cold, moisture falling on the rooftops and hitting the metal vents. Echoing down the pipes into the room. Frosty windows bordered by the proof the warmth is keeping you protected from that storm you are sitting there watching.

Slow and quiet rumble starts in the tin tea pot on the stove. The temperature rises and the whistle grows and yells Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
Time for the cup of hot chocoa.

Back on the fluffy couch covered with big blankets to watch out the window.

Tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink...
Rain falls and changes pace with the thickness of the clouds above. Neighbors running around to find cover as they wait for their little dogs to go to the bathroom. Cars swooshing as rain puddles fly above the car when turning the corner into the parking lot.

A big dark ominous cloud approaches and soon the rain drops turn to hail. White balls of ice falling from the sky at a fast pace. Bouncing off the window and ground surface.
Five minutes pass and the rain disperses. Sun and clear sky are swiftly approaching and a white blanket is left behind. The sun warms the ground and melts the hail that had fallen just moments ago. Wet ground, crisp air, puffy damp coats on the people who braved to go outside.
Another sip of my hot cocoa, oh wait, it's almost gone.

That warm, smooth, liquid flowing down my throat warming my soul.
Even a day full of homework creates a day to reconnect with things that bring peace and a calmness that relaxes the soul just a little big more.

This week has been filled with studying and projects. I have been working on four huge projects that i have been working on all semester. The stress of one of them is taking a toll in my day to day life. I am more frustrated and edgy because i feel overwhelmed and upset with the lack of concern from others in my group. I hold i high standard of people. When you say you are going to do something i fully expect you will do it. When deadlines come up and I am putting the book together, I am asking on a daily basis for the members to hand me in their part. Not much is required from them but to do one or two small assignments and email it. For a person who doesn't work and doesn't have much going on in her life, getting an assignment done would be possible. But the married's in the group are more on top of everything than this single woman is.

I have been thinking about my situations and i know i shouldn't complain. I realized though that it's not the most important thing. My relationships that are being affected from this stress are more important and if we don't get something in this project, we loose points and our grade drops. This is important, but letting my husband know i love him and making sure we can still connect and be at peace with each other is more important.

Even with all this stress going on that we both have, we are trying to remember to take time out of our day, each day, to just spend time with each other. We go to the hot tub, we cuddle on the couch, and we sit on the couch next to each other as we are both doing our homework.

I am so thankful for hubbs and so grateful that he is in my life and patient with me.

We are at the end of our semester and will be taking finals next week and have a week to wind down and relax until we travel to see our families for the holidays.

Hope you are all doing well and enjoying this season. Remember why we celebrate it and the most important things in your life. Share with us a tradition you have for the holidays that bring your family together and make everyone be closer.

Sweet days to come!
Soph.

"That's just the way it is"

Lots going on lately but to keep you in the know and keep this short. Hubbs and I both got our internships accepted from the company we will be working with. Now all we need to do is to get all the paperwork filled out with the school and that wont be hard because the internships have been done before.

Hubb's internship is working with my chiropractor. We went in the other day for hubbs to get adjusted and started talking about it. We will both be getting free adjustments while he does that. I was excited because i love going to Chiropractors. It feels so amazing afterwards and it's so interesting watching the things they do and how simple it is.

I will be working with a Chamber of Commerce to help plan the biggest event of the year. The woman in charge said she doesn't usually give out internships right away because she needs to think about the person and then weight her options. As she was wrapping up the conversation she started asking me if i had any questions, i had lots, but didn't want to waist her time. I asked her about any event planning because that is what i am most familiar with and enjoy the most. She said that they didn't usually do this internship but if i was interested i could do it. ALSO, she could give this one to me on the spot without question. I told her i would take the spot right now and that i didn't need to think about it. I showed her my portfolio. She seemed impressed, or at the very least amused. We will be starting at the first of the year

Yesterday was my Twilight Marathon day. Not very many people showed up. There was at least one other person at all times. We watched the first two then took a break and i went to Hubbs's last frisby game of the season and came back to finish up the last two movies. I am so pumped for this coming Thursday and can't wait! Last movie is coming out.

It's kinda thrilling but also sad. I have been so closely tied to these books and movies for so many years and now it's coming to an end and there is nothing else out there waiting to be done about it and nothing else out there to get me excited and fluttery like i do with these books/movies.

I am not a geek about it, i just connect to it and appreciate it. I hate reading and feel it's a waist of my time waiting in anticipation to find out that the person was wearing a purple knit scarf just to walk to the store kind of thing. I like getting straight to the point and all the fluff that gets put into books frustrates me. These books are the only books i have ever read in it's entirety so that is saying something about how much i enjoy the series.

So this Thursday Hubbs's sister and I will be taking a little trip to do something crazy. Sit out in the cold for two or more hours waiting to get into a theater where we will wait another two hours, just to watch this last addition. Last year i took Hubbs with me and it was fun because it meant a lot to have him there supporting it with me. This year though it will be even better because i will have another chick who loves it just about as much as i do, there with me to oogle over the fascination of the event.

Keeping busy is something i like to do and we have been doing that this whole semester. I keep hearing people talking about how much time is left until Thanksgiving and realizing we only have so much time after that till we are done and it's Christmas. I have to keep shutting people out so i don't get myself excited. I have been having a hard time staying motivated and caring about my homework this semester. I realize how close i am to being done and don't see any easiness in anything. I just want to be done so much! It is bad because i don't really care for some of my classes at all and they are the one's i need for my major. I don't like them though because of the teacher. Next semester i have planned all my classes already and i like my schedule but don't because i wont be able to work and get paid. I made sure i didn't get this one teacher again. The rest of my classes i have are all upper division and they are only taught one time during the semester and you have to take them then or you are screwed so, I am hoping when I apply for my last semester that it will all work out. If not, things will get interesting.

Keeping up with school work and working as much as we can to save money for trips, moving, Christmas, and tuition. Other than the two things mentioned earlier, there isn't much new going on with us. Just living life in a constant run trying to get everything accomplished before the day ends.

Hope each of you are doing well and enjoying your week. Tell us something new and exciting with you.
Until we meet again!
Sophia.

Loaded

Even though it's only been about a week, i feel that there has been a whole months worth of activity and emotion going on with us. I will keep it straight to the point for the smaller things that are self explanatory. Let's get started!

Hubbs is in the process of filling out his grad-school application. He has a phone interview tomorrow with a faculty advisor. We are going strong on that. Pretty confident that he will get accepted, but still if you keep us in your prayers that would be appreciated.

Hubbs is playing ultimate frisby for school and has games every Friday night. One of the team members lives in our complex and so on their practice days, his wife and i go walking together while they practice. They are all really good players. STRONG. POWERFUL. The game this friday was an interesting one. The team they played was short and couldn't keep up with our team. Hubbs mates are all super tall *(except like two) and they all have played several semesters and know what they are doing. They play well together, just get lazy sometimes. They have been working hard on conditioning themselves to play hard. They won the game 10-0 on Friday.

Hubbs is working on school work and is so busy trying to keep up with his spanish teacher who he finds very annoying. She requires so much work. Our online class we take together is pretty demanding too of our time and not always worth the work put into it. He is getting fairly good grades and does his job of studying hard to get good grades for his scholarship.

Soon he will be going to the chiropractor that i was seeing a few months ago. He wants to get adujusted and work with the doc on his internship. That will start this week most likely.

I am super busy right now with all my classes, work, and trying to fit in fun things for my own sanity. For one of my classes, we have a group project to do PR for a society and so we have been working on that. It's kinda great because the team needs us to get all the stuff set up as soon as possible to implement it this semester. They have nothing so i am working on creating a logo and t-shirt design for them while everyone else is working on something different.

This society needs A LOT of work and so it's keeping us very busy and with a group leader that isn't bing very supportive and helpful with providing us with the information we need to do our project, it's becoming quite frustrating and with this being the last class of the day, i go home feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

With this class i am taking comes seminars. Every semester the entire department cancles all of it's classes so that the students and teachers can go to seminars that go for six to eight hours a day. Last week me and my sister-in-law needed to go to these seminars. I ended up having to work all day so i only went to one of the sessions. The lady that spoke talked to us about her job as a PR Consultant. Since that is what i want to be, i thought it would be very interesting, but she talked more about other things that didn't have the most relevant points to the topic. The next day she came and spoke in each of my classes about the same thing. The up side what that i got a free pair of socks from it.

Work is kinda busy just cause i am still figuring things out for one of the jobs. I am working on putting together a work book for future employees. Finishing a project from last semester. Also, just getting the day to day stuff done. Last week, i went into the place where hubbs works to warm up some food. His boss came out of her office and stopped me to talk. She said "have i told you how much i love your mouth?". I of course shocked at the comment sat there stunned and not sure what to say or how to react. She continued to say "see look at my face" and pulls her hand up to her mouth and used the first two fingers on her hand to move each side of her mouth down, on her face. She then continued " and my husband's even worse". Pulling her hand up again to pull the edges of her face down even more. She then said that she loved my mouth because it's naturally in an upward shape and looks happy.

So as i said things are busy around here. Saturday is a great example because we didn't stop all day. We woke up, ate, got ready and went to the temple. While there it was so interesting to me. The first reason why was because we hadn't gone to the temple for a long time and so it was a great refresher to kind of start pulling myself back to what i believe. Then we had a wonderful experience to share the session with a young guy who was going for the first time. His innocence and purity was great to see. His curiosity was intriguing to me because i hadn't seen a "own endowment" for anyone other than myself over a year ago.

After the temple, we went to pick up hubbs sister and her husband. We have been planning for a family dinner and activity that needed some food and groceries. Here in our little podunck town, there isn't much here for shopping of any sort. We have a store that is in the bigger town about a half hour away and so we carpooled there. On the way we remembered the different things we needed from the town. The whole trip took like almost 4 hours.

On our way home, we were driving and laughing and having fun. On the other side of the freeway there was a cop that was coming our direction and as he got close to us, we noticed his lights were on. Usually cops in this town are pretty intense on speeding. Hubbs said we were only going four miles over so we all started to kind of worry they would turn around to come after us. We saw an exit coming up and figured we would drive down this road to our apartment. We didn't realize till we hit a dead end, that it was the wrong exit. So we had to turn around and we wanted to find the way home without the freeway. So needless to say we got lost. Right before we took this exit, sister in law mentioned that they had stake conference in seven minutes. We all laughed after we realized it wasn't going to happen.

Luckily when we got back to town, we had dinner that was ready and we got from the store. We sat down and ate like carnivors because we all realized just how hungry we were. As hubbs and i were fininshing up, our neighbor texted us to see if we were ready to go to a straw maze with them. I told her we were up the street and would be there shortly. So we ran home and when we got home realized they were sitting in their car waiting for us. We then ran up the stairs to grab our coats and back down to go.

We got to the straw maze and they hadn't planned on many people going out because of the cold windy weather (that is always in our area) so there was no one there really. We walked through the maze that wasn't that exciting and quite small. After being there for 30 minutes we went home. Once home, we called the siblings to come over.

While on the phone with the siblings, the neighbors came to see if we wanted to get ice cream with them. So we walked over to get ice cream and told the siblings to meet us there. The siblings came over and we walked back to the house afterwards and put in a movie. I fell asleep on the couch during a movie. So our day was very busy and that is what every day is like. We only rest when we go to bed.

Yesterday, we had church until 4:30 and realized that we had people coming over for dinner in 20 minutes. The meal we wanted to make wasn't going to be ready in time so we had to make up a new meal and get everything set up. Hubbs went to pick up cousins while i stayed home cooking dinner. Sister-in-law came over and started setting up for her service project that we were doing. Once dinner was done, we put together goodies and door bell ditched friends in need. It turned into a door bell ditch 3 times in a row. We all were working on getting one friend for the third time and this guy who had been walking around the complex and saw us as we were running around and asked what was going on. So we told him and asked him if he wanted to join in. He said sure and so we had him go do the last doorbell ringing and he ended up getting chased down. DON'T WORRY. The guys both had a sense of humor. It was all good. Another friend ended up chasing down one of the cousins and again all involved had a great time with all smiles!

Anyway, big news isn't going on yet. Life is just moving forward and school is half way over for the semester. Two more semesters for me and i can't wait!

See ya friends.

Humorous boss and Thankful expressions

So this is an email thread from me to Hubbs and my boss, and her response. 

"So i am coming to the realization that when i am having hard times, i need to just deal with it myself.

There have been a few times lately were i have felt home sick or having a bad day and just needed a hug or someone to talk to. I look for Hubbs's sister who is great for talking to, I text hubbs to have him respond, i go up to your office, or i go up to sister Reeds desk. 

Hubbs's sister can't be found. Hubbs doesn't respond. Sister Reed is in a meeting, at a wedding, or just not at her desk, and it's Monday so you are at home enjoying your day.

I get all excited and hopeful that i can see you and just enjoy being around your happy face, and then realize oh yeah she is home today and busy there. So i leave with my head down and say " ill try again another day soon" to realize, it's Monday YET AGAIN and you aren't there.

I just can't catch a break. haha

I realize that this happens and i shouldn't rely on others to help me out. I need to buck up and get over it. Forget the emotion and move on. That's my learned lesson for the day!

enjoy your Monday and ill see you soon! "

Me. 
When i told hubbs about this his comments were... "ie. don't show on mondays"...she has problems. 

Then hubbs's boss responds with this humerus response

Hey Soph,
Let me take you to lunch sometime this week or next.  I am busy on Wednesday but I have time on Thursday or Friday. When are you free?


I am so proud of my witty comments and her sense of humor. They don't come out often and so when they do i feel i gotta share because i feel smart.

So i know that thanksgiving is a ways away but i feel like i must start it now. In one of my classes today i was listening to the teacher explaining a scripture we had to read as part of our homework. He was talking about the people who had diseases and were healed by being in Bethesda. He was quoting a comment from Elder Packer about how life stinks and that is our purpose in life. To overcome our challenges and be stronger people. We have a duty to inform our children that there are some people who are challenged and can't do anything about it, we are there to help them and give our service of able bodies to "lift them into the pool" (so to speak). I started thinking about how my  mom always would tell me when i was younger that i shouldn't call people retards because it is an actual thing that can't be controlled. She taught me that my words would hurt people and i should be aware of other people. She taught me this lesson because i had some cousins that had disabilities they couldn't control and people would use that word in a negative miss-guided way. Somewhere in my growing up, i thought that i had grown out of having to treat people kindly and accept all things. I started to talk like all my friends and when my friends would do something stupid i would call them a retard. How stupid i was! I started thinking about how people call me stupid because i have had to take all my classes multiple times because i can't remember things like i used to. Also, how people would say hurtful things to me, commenting on issues i couldn't control or do anything about. It hurts to be on that side. I then started thinking about my sister in law and how she teaches her boys to be kind.

I realized i need to change this habit of mine, if i want to be a good example to any future child of mine. I then started thinking about how i wanted my kids to be once we start having children in our home. This whole thought process went throughout the whole day not just while sitting in class. I remember how it felt in other people's homes where there was love and acceptance and the whole family could joke around and be strongly connected to each other.

I thought about what each person in my family has done for me and what aspects are weak because of my actions. I started missing home, being with my grandparent's and my sisters. I have tried to suppress my emotions so that i can get through this next year and so i am feeling a strong connection with the person i want to be. I love the fall time as i have mentioned and it's a deeper meaning to me than the crisp air, the spooky activities and the giving season. I seem to gain a greater appreciation and stronger connection to who i really want to be in life.

I want to be a loving mother who is always teaching my children to be kind, helpful, and accepting. I want my children to be respectful and willing to give to others, any day of the week. I can do this by changing myself and i find it easier once i start focusing on paying attention to my actions. I am going to try and focus on one think i am grateful for, writing it down, and putting it in a jar. Then in a year i can go through and put together a book.

I am feeling very blessed right now. I have a home over my head. It's a small little apartment on the top floor of a three story, north facing building. Inside it's filled with experience, love, and family. I have pictures on every wall. Pictures of family, my beliefs, inspirations, pleasures. I am constantly reminded

I have two jobs, that help me pay my bills and put food on my table. I love having people over for games or movies and entertaining friends. I love making goodies when they come over and basically bribing people to come see me. I have some awesome boss's that make my day more enjoyable and who see me as an equal more often than a lower level.

I have a loving husband who treats me like a queen when i am down and needing to be lifted. He puts up with me taking him for granted and being selfish at times. He does what he can to keep me happy at all times. He truly loves and cares for me and i see this more and more with each day.

I have a loving family who loves and supports me in all that i do. They give me advice when needed and know how best to handle dealing with me. They are aware of the things that will set me off and deal with my outbursts of over exaggerated emotion.

What more could i really want or need. I am so very blessed and love where i am in my life situations.

What are you doing for costumes for Halloween? Post pictures or comments below.
Have a great day and smile! 

Fall is in the air

So a lot is going on for hubbs and i right now. To start off we are loving the much crisper air. So refreshing. Hubbs started his frisby game and practices this week. Every Friday, he has a game and his team seems to be rather good this semester. Hubbs is really liking being on a team and playing so i support him by going and watching him play and i enjoy sitting there on the side lines being apart of it all. Hubbs is working as much as he can and working hard on his schooling. He has one teacher this semester that seems to be too much to handle and one of our classes we have online together is overpowering as well. Our teacher gives us three times or two times as much homework as all our other classes combined.

I am super busy with school and work, but i kinda like it. We start off our day at six a.m.. Hubbs wakes up and starts a work out while i start getting ready and fixing up my hair. Then he and i both get our breakfast and start studying, or what ever last minute things we have to do. Then we head off to campus where we both work for so many hours in between our classes and homework times. Then, depending on the day, hubbs has practice, plasma, or games. Then we arrive home and get dinner started as well as our homework. Around ninish i leave to go on a walk with my friend. When i get home i finish homework or go to bed to start my day all over again the next morning.

One of my jobs is just being put together and i finally got my own desk, phone, printer and everything. They just hired a new chick too so i get to train her next week when she starts. Kinda glad she got hired because the department needs it, but also don't like it because i felt special that i was the only one there and that i knew everything going on with it. My other job is kinda starting to level out a bit and i am glad for that because it's been pretty dang hectic.

This fall season i wanted to be all crafty and get cute little knick knacks made for the apartment, but i am looking at my load of work and finding it's going to be tuff. I see things on pintrest that just look adorable and i feel like i can't be that creative or cute. I pulled out my pumpkin spice candle the other day and put it on my warmer so the house smells like it now and i LOVE it! I love fall more than anything i believe. The smell of rotting leaves falling off the trees. The yellow and brown, mixed with the green. Crisp, chill days. Sweaters and scarves. I love it all. I love wreaths with autumn leaves and cranberries. I love the season and part of it is because i know Christmas is coming. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are my favorite holidays and i just feel like i don't have a down day. I love fall soups and cuddling up in a nice warm blanket next to the window. I will see what creations i can come up with. Anyone who is in town with us and wants to join in the craft day i would love to set aside some time to make crafty, fall, things.

Anyway nothing really new with us, just we are really busy with living our daily life. Our home feels the business because we haven't been able to keep up on the laundry, dishes, or cleaning. Tonight is going to be a lighter night for both hubbs and i so we are going to take some time to catch up and hopefully watch a movie with the windows open. I seem to only be able to watch horror movies around Halloween and i have been wanting to see one recently. I have a great one in mind too!

Hope you are all having a wonderful day and enjoying the fall weather just as much as i am. I could just talk about it all day and how much i love it. If you have any fall, craft ideas that you would like to share with me, please feel free.

Best fall wishes!

Time to Celebrate!

Hey everyone, Today is a great day for a celebration.
Five years ago i was in the hospital laying in bed, finishing up the last treatment for my second and final Bone Marrow Transplant. (more on this a little later) I have been doing check ups on a consistent basis to make sure that i am still clean and clear. My blood counts are still working on getting back to normal, they are low, but for me, they have become a new normal. These counts usually are fully raised by the year mark. My body has started making estrogen on it's own now and is waking up.  I am no longer on medication to make estrogen.

A bone marrow transplant is the killing and removal of the baby bone marrow. If the baby marrow is good they can plant it in later, usually though, it's not and they have to use a donor. I was fortunate to be able to be my own donor. This makes the chances of rejection much lower. Your body recognizes that the marrow is yours and not foreign. I got chemo for three days straight and then when my blood counts bottomed out, i got my bone marrow back. Because your counts bottom out, and often you have new blood in you, the docs say you are reborn and count that day as your remission day. I had such a strong treatment that they needed to do this process twice. I have had all my immunizations redone. I am the oldest and the youngest child in our family.

Another reason to celebrate, our anniversary is this weekend and we are celebrating being married for the hardest year, the first one.

Work is work, life is lessons, and love is enjoyable. See ya all friends, Hubs and i are done with work now and we will be heading home to relax and enjoy a nice clean and cool (temp) home. Until we meet again! 

Delicious Beauty

A warm, fluffy piece of bread tastes so succulent. Every bite is a new excitement. You are embraced by the sweetness in the air and it's leaving your body anxious in anticipation for a delightful experience of flavor and texture.

Hubbs and I are in a phase in our lives right now were we are anxious in anticipation for the new adventures that are to come. In a little under two weeks we will be experiencing something we have been waiting for close to three years. We have gotten to the point were we can say that we are accomplishing our first year of marriage. This year has brought challenges to the both of us that are good and bad. We are learning to live together with our interesting quarks and completely accepting who the other is in all different aspects of life. The first year of anything isn't ever really easy. This is because you are learning what to expect and learning how to maneuver situations in an acceptable manner. Any challenge is a turning point and will help mold the choices of the future.  As we are coming up on the momentous occasion, we have reflected on our times together over the years and we embrace those moments that brought us closer together. I knew shortly after meeting Hubbs that I wouldn’t regret it. I had found a place I could trust again, I could feel safe and at peace. I knew that no matter what came our way, we would figure it out together. In the moment of these hard times, it’s often not the first thought, that everything will be fine and work out somehow. Instead the thought is “hurry and dash for the nearest answer, excuse, reasoning, or so on and so on, that we can find.

We have spent many nights talking about our plans for the future and where we want to be in five years. The main idea is that we want to be madly and deeply in love. We want to be happy, and we want to be level headed and know where our priorities are. As long as we are both on the same page with this and how we will accomplish this goal of ours, that is all that matters. I thought when you get married, things are just hunky dory and that problems don’t come up. You don’t have to try so hard to make people like you, and you don’t have to try so hard to be the person you want to be. I WAS WRONG.  You have to keep trying and keep being involved in each others lives. You have to keep trying to better yourself. In order to survive your marriage, you can’t just get in a pattern or rut and never move. You have to find new interests with each other, communicate about each others day, even when you already know the events that came about. Talk about each others feelings, hopes, desires, hobbies. Always try to keep in mind that there is more about your spouse that you don’t know, when you search for these interesting stories and attributes in your spouse you are growing closer together and maintaining excitement.

Now, enough of me being Mrs. Preachy here. It’s summer time and you know what that means. Air conditioners, fans, sprinklers, swimming, road trips, family and friends. We have just arrived from what seems like a month vacation. We have been driving from place to place, taking road trips that seem to be never ending. Each time we take this trip, it seems harder and harder to sit still and endure through the pain of my stiff body sitting in a tight and restraining area. These trips always include some type of family, and when family is involved there always seems to be some sort of drama. This little annoyance can drive a person batty. (Even more so then the bar that is digging into your back as you are driving down the highway.) Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, sometimes though people over step the line and I hit my breaking point. It’s a thing of human nature, we all do it. The trip seemed like it was going to be long when we were planning it and we were wondering what we were going to do to pass the time. Once we got there we realized it was going to be an interesting trip. Many factors just happened to placed just right to make for funny, awkward, and joyful moments. You clench your teeth and hold on tight for the ride. 

Friends, you need them to pull you out of the window of reality sometimes. While one of the situations on our trip made it so we couldn’t really get around transportation wise, we found ways to fit in time with (some, not allL) friends. You start to realize once you have been away from your close friends (sometimes this happens, not always), that your life is veering a different path than your friends. While you still may have a lot in common with them and you enjoy their company, the realization that life just isn’t the same anymore strikes like a lightning bolt to the forehead.

Family, they will always love you for who you are, even when they complain. You are stuck with your family and you can’t always choose them, so you might as well learn to deal with it. Little things will always come up that will strike pain in your direction.

Money, isn’t always going to be around when you want or even need it. Learning to become creative with limited resources, is a handy habit that all should create in their life time.

These are all things I have learned in my life up to this point. But, an interesting thing happens as you get older and have a different perspective of things. You learn a value to things around you that you don’t often think about. You realize how much man needs people around to keep one in a sane mind frame. One of the most important lessons that often gets forgotten though is the beauty that is all around you. We get so caught up in our own little world where everything revolves around “ me “. We don’t take time to see the different colors that go into paint on a house as you drive by. You don’t see the unconditional love that humans have for other living creatures be it human, plant, or animal. You value your life and the huge fact that you have been given the blessing of breath. Without that wonderful blessing, we would be nowhere. We as an individual and a collective, need to make sure that we take time out of our day (preferably several times a day) to just sit back and think about what you have been able to witness in the last two hours. Taking this time in our lives to really acknowledge and appreciate what we are able to do and be apart of is what our true lesson in life is.

This will be the new congregating place to stay up to date and aware of what is going on in this brain of mine, and to see what Hubbs and I are up to. Feel free to leave comments just please be respectful to the fact that you have been entrusted with this page, don’t be sharing it with the world. I am doing this so that you can be involved, I don’t like being quiet just because of one idiot who ruins it for everyone, I just change and leave them behind.

Have a great day my faithful readers and stay connected.

Best wishes, Yours truly Sophia Bumble.