So this is an email thread from me to Hubbs and my boss, and her response.
"So i am coming to the realization that when i am having hard times, i need to just deal with it myself.
There have been a few times lately were i have felt home sick or having a bad day and just needed a hug or someone to talk to. I look for Hubbs's sister who is great for talking to, I text hubbs to have him respond, i go up to your office, or i go up to sister Reeds desk.
Hubbs's sister can't be found. Hubbs doesn't respond. Sister Reed is in a meeting, at a wedding, or just not at her desk, and it's Monday so you are at home enjoying your day.
I get all excited and hopeful that i can see you and just enjoy being around your happy face, and then realize oh yeah she is home today and busy there. So i leave with my head down and say " ill try again another day soon" to realize, it's Monday YET AGAIN and you aren't there.
I just can't catch a break. haha
I realize that this happens and i shouldn't rely on others to help me out. I need to buck up and get over it. Forget the emotion and move on. That's my learned lesson for the day!
enjoy your Monday and ill see you soon! "
Me.
When i told hubbs about this his comments were... "ie. don't show on mondays"...she has problems.
Then hubbs's boss responds with this humerus response
Hey Soph,
Let me take you to lunch sometime this week or next. I am busy on Wednesday but I have time on Thursday or Friday. When are you free?
I am so proud of my witty comments and her sense of humor. They don't come out often and so when they do i feel i gotta share because i feel smart.
So i know that thanksgiving is a ways away but i feel like i must start it now. In one of my classes today i was listening to the teacher explaining a scripture we had to read as part of our homework. He was talking about the people who had diseases and were healed by being in Bethesda. He was quoting a comment from Elder Packer about how life stinks and that is our purpose in life. To overcome our challenges and be stronger people. We have a duty to inform our children that there are some people who are challenged and can't do anything about it, we are there to help them and give our service of able bodies to "lift them into the pool" (so to speak). I started thinking about how my mom always would tell me when i was younger that i shouldn't call people retards because it is an actual thing that can't be controlled. She taught me that my words would hurt people and i should be aware of other people. She taught me this lesson because i had some cousins that had disabilities they couldn't control and people would use that word in a negative miss-guided way. Somewhere in my growing up, i thought that i had grown out of having to treat people kindly and accept all things. I started to talk like all my friends and when my friends would do something stupid i would call them a retard. How stupid i was! I started thinking about how people call me stupid because i have had to take all my classes multiple times because i can't remember things like i used to. Also, how people would say hurtful things to me, commenting on issues i couldn't control or do anything about. It hurts to be on that side. I then started thinking about my sister in law and how she teaches her boys to be kind.
I realized i need to change this habit of mine, if i want to be a good example to any future child of mine. I then started thinking about how i wanted my kids to be once we start having children in our home. This whole thought process went throughout the whole day not just while sitting in class. I remember how it felt in other people's homes where there was love and acceptance and the whole family could joke around and be strongly connected to each other.
I thought about what each person in my family has done for me and what aspects are weak because of my actions. I started missing home, being with my grandparent's and my sisters. I have tried to suppress my emotions so that i can get through this next year and so i am feeling a strong connection with the person i want to be. I love the fall time as i have mentioned and it's a deeper meaning to me than the crisp air, the spooky activities and the giving season. I seem to gain a greater appreciation and stronger connection to who i really want to be in life.
I want to be a loving mother who is always teaching my children to be kind, helpful, and accepting. I want my children to be respectful and willing to give to others, any day of the week. I can do this by changing myself and i find it easier once i start focusing on paying attention to my actions. I am going to try and focus on one think i am grateful for, writing it down, and putting it in a jar. Then in a year i can go through and put together a book.
I am feeling very blessed right now. I have a home over my head. It's a small little apartment on the top floor of a three story, north facing building. Inside it's filled with experience, love, and family. I have pictures on every wall. Pictures of family, my beliefs, inspirations, pleasures. I am constantly reminded
I have two jobs, that help me pay my bills and put food on my table. I love having people over for games or movies and entertaining friends. I love making goodies when they come over and basically bribing people to come see me. I have some awesome boss's that make my day more enjoyable and who see me as an equal more often than a lower level.
I have a loving husband who treats me like a queen when i am down and needing to be lifted. He puts up with me taking him for granted and being selfish at times. He does what he can to keep me happy at all times. He truly loves and cares for me and i see this more and more with each day.
I have a loving family who loves and supports me in all that i do. They give me advice when needed and know how best to handle dealing with me. They are aware of the things that will set me off and deal with my outbursts of over exaggerated emotion.
What more could i really want or need. I am so very blessed and love where i am in my life situations.
What are you doing for costumes for Halloween? Post pictures or comments below.
Have a great day and smile!
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